The Monster
by Violet2389
Summary: Bella is a girl who loves to party, but what happens when her mom ships her off to Forks to spend time with her dad over the summer? All human, M for high drug use, lemons, and bad language. BellaXJacobXEdwardish. Based upon Ellen Hopkins' Crank series
1. Chapter 1

**New story! I've been toying around with this idea for a bit. EVERYONE is human, and it'll be a bit of the original Twilight love triangle, but with strong elements of the Crank series with Ellen Hopkins tied into it (which, by the way, I STRONGLY recommend if you haven't read it). Enjoy!**

**The Monster**

**Chapter 1**

I could feel her eyes on me as I entered the room. Was it the state of my mind that made me think that she was penetrating my soul with her eyes? The monster had its claws wrapped tightly around my brain. Hopefully keeping me in check more than anything else. _Just give her five minutes, then you can go upstairs and play with me some more._ It seemed to whisper from inside my brain, as well as inside my purse. _Give her five minutes to lecture you, don't lose your temper or you'll lose me._

"Glad to see you finally came home," Renee said. "Do you have any idea how worried we were?"

"Sorry," I mumbled. "We lost track of time." I _really_ wasn't in the mood for the third degree from her.

"You have a cell phone for a reason," she said. "A simple phone call would have sufficed." She moved closer to me, and I got nervous that she'd be able to smell the evening's activities with my boyfriend, Brad, on me. I was wired out of my mind and I knew that I wouldn't be getting a wink of sleep tonight, but as soon as I could go up to my room, I'd be safe. I needed a shower to get the scent of weed and meth out of my hair and skin.

She stared me straight in the eyes, could she see how dilated they were? Could she tell? I met her eyes; if I looked away she'd suspect something for sure.

"I really am sorry," I said. "The concert went later than we expected." There hadn't even been a concert…well there had been, just there had never been a plan of us going to it. I had hoped that once I got here, both she and her husband Phil would be asleep, but as Brad had driven up the driveway, I had seen the living room lights on and I knew I would be in shit once I got inside.

Summer vacation would begin in twenty-seven days, and my grades were going to shit. And Renee knew.

"Bella, what has been going on with you?" she asked. "Three of your teachers called this week saying that they aren't sure if you're going to pass their classes."

I shrugged. "I've just been really stressed out lately, and homework has been piling up. By the time finals come I'll be fine."

I could tell that she didn't like what I was saying, but what else could she really say? Of course I couldn't tell her the real reason why I was failing most, if not all, my classes. Instead of going to class, I would do better things with Brad. And if I did go to class, I went so high that I had no idea what was even going on in the class.

"I think that it would be beneficial for you to spend this summer with your father," she said.

"What?" I demanded angrily. "Why?"

"Because Phil and I think it would be good for you to get away from Arizona for a bit," she said, and I knew what she really meant. _Phil and I think it'd be good for you to get away from Brad for a bit._

I knew that they didn't approve of Brad. They had never liked them, ever since we first started dating.

"What if I don't want to go?" I challenged her.

"Maybe if you get your grades up you can decide," she said. We both knew there wasn't a chance in hell of that happening. I could see in her eyes that she knew I wasn't going to get my grades up. "If you pass all of your classes, you can decide whether you go or not."

"And what does Dad think about all this?" I asked.

"He's perfectly fine with you going for a visit," she said.

"So that's all you're going to do?" I asked. "Ship me off to Forks?"

"What else _can_ I do?" she asked. "There's more going on with you than you're telling me, I can tell. I've given you quite a lot of freedom for these past few months, and I've noticed a significant difference in who you are. You've lost weight; your marks are going down...Bella, what is going on with you? Is it Brad?"

"No," I said. "Look, I know I may not have made the best choices lately, but I promise I'll be fine. _Please_ don't ship me off to see Dad."

She shook her head. "It's been settled, Bella. Unless you get your grades up you have no choice in the matter."

I didn't know what else to say, so I just said good night to her and went upstairs. I was so angry. What the fuck was I going to do in Forks? It was the epitome of boring, and where could I score there? I lay in bed, deep in thought. I highly doubted I'd be able to get my grades up, no matter how hard I worked.

I thought back to tonight. That brought me some better memories. Brad and I, snorting lines, the slight sting that came with every snort, the burning sensation shooting through your nose, directly into your brain, feeling as though fireworks were going off.

Sitting out in an abandoned field, clothes being shed, our bodies moving in perfect rhythm against one another…heaven.

Back in his car, seeming as though we would be leaving each other all too soon, but realizing it was almost two in the morning, smoking a joint with him, to calm down the speed racing through me, just as a cover for Renee. Brad had given me some meth to keep with me, to get back to the high we had achieved earlier.

Even though snorting lines wasn't even close to as fun as doing it with somebody else, I didn't like doing it alone, that took away a lot of the fun of it.

For the rest of the night I just lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. I was tempted to go get my bag and snort a few lines, but I really couldn't be bothered to get up. Smoking some weed normally made crashing easier, and I was going to crash very soon. Tomorrow I would probably be asleep for the entire day, but it was completely worth it. Tomorrow was Sunday; it was so much easier to crash on weekends. A few times I had crashed during a school day, and it was tough to convince Renee to let me stay home, especially when I could barely string together a sentence.

For the few, final weeks before summer vacation, I worked my ass of in school. I got extra credit work, didn't skip a single class-which was taking a serious toll on my mental stability-and limited my meth use. I would not go to Forks. I refused.

After I finished my last final, I still didn't think I passed all my classes. I wasn't completely confident in how I had done. I felt like I had missed half the coursework, and that my teachers all tested us on the coursework that I had missed.

In a week I would know whether or not I passed everything, and I was legitimately worried. I had explained the situation to Brad, and he had been good about it, he understood why we weren't blazing up or snorting at lunch as often.

Sure, I'd still go to the odd class high, but not nearly as often anymore. I limited my use to after school, sometimes even then I wouldn't use. Yes, it was affecting me more than I wanted to admit, but I could feel it. In fact, tonight brad and I were going to have our own little party. I was going to celebrate finishing all my finals, whether I passed or not. His parents were out so we'd have the house to ourselves, and the prospect of that excited me beyond belief. I didn't know if we would be the only two people there, and I didn't really care either way. Whether it was just us, or a houseful of people, I knew we'd be having fun-and not just the kind of fun that involved snorting and smoking-fun behind closed, bedroom doors.

Fun. What a word that is, and how it changes as you grow older. For a two-year-old, fun is being chased around the house, and being scared around every corner. For a four-year-old, fun is being able to ride your new bike around the block with the training wheels on, or playing with dolls and toys. For an eight-year-old, fun is _finally_ being able to ride your bike sans training wheels. For a thirteen-year-old…that's where the prospect of _fun _begins to change. You start to notice the opposite sex more, and then you _really _get the idea of the amount of fun you can have.

As for me? Seventeen-year-old Bella? What's fun for me?

A number of things. I used to be one of the top students in the class-quiet, but brainy. I wouldn't say I was a nerd; I _did _have quite a lot of friends, all of which had never even taken a teeny tiny stroll with the monster in their lives, let alone the amount I could use in a day. As far as I knew, nobody who I was friends with used.

Which was why I also had a new group of friends…and Brad was the main part of that new group of friends. Before I met Brad, I had never taken drugs in my life before, apart from the odd Advil or prescribed medication.

I can remember the first time I used as if it was yesterday. Brad and I had hung out a few times, and he had offered for me to try a few times. When he was with me he would really only smoke weed, but I knew that he also had meth on him. He lit up a joint, and offered it to me. I deliberated for a second and then made my decision.

"_I don't want to try that,"_ I can remember myself saying.

I can remember the way his eyebrows arched in surprise. _"What do you want to try?"_

"_What's in that little black lockbox under the passenger seat of your car."_

"_You sure?" _

I remember nodding, and then he grasped my hand and led me to his car. He reached under my seat and pulled out the lockbox. The mirror, the blade and the straw all came out of it, along with the magical powder. I watched as Brad prepared the lines, and I felt my stomach flip in anticipation.

"_Ladies first," _he said, handing the mirror to me. I bent forward, placed the straw at the end of one of the fat lines, and snorted the entire thing. The pain was almost unbearable. It felt as though my sinuses were being assaulted. They burned and tingled, and I wanted to scream. I could feel it work its way to my brain, and the fireworks started going off there as well.

I wanted to scream and cry, but that wasn't cool. So, I remained completely neutral, and snorted another line up my other nostril. This time it wasn't as bad, because I knew what to expect. That day I didn't just have one first. After a few lines I wanted more than just the crank-and his name was Brad. I wanted to be with him in every way I could. I wanted to feel his passion for me, and I wanted to feel his passion for me. That was the day I had lost my virginity to the man I loved more than anything.

I smile at myself in the mirror, reliving that day. I did the final, finishing touches on my makeup, and went back into my bedroom. My overnight bag was packed, and my lie was secure in my head. All I needed to do was get past Renee. It shouldn't be hard; I was telling her I was going to my friend, Zoë's house for the night. I figured as long as I didn't mention Brad's name, I'd be perfectly fine.

"Mom?" I called, going downstairs to the kitchen. "Is it alright if I spend tonight at Zoë's?"

She looked up from flipping through her magazine to stare me down, as if looking for some flaw in what I said. I didn't break eye contract with her, and kept my expression neutral.

"That's fine," she said. "Do you need me to drive you there?"

I shook my head. "No, I can walk. Her house isn't far."

"Alright," she said. "When are you going?"

"I was thinking of leaving in about twenty minutes," I said. I needed to call Brad to let him know to come get me.

"Make sure you eat something there," she said, turning back to her magazine.

That sure as hell wasn't going to happen. Eating was the absolute _last _thing on my mind.

I went back upstairs and called Brad, letting him know I was good to go. About ten minutes later, I left the house, calling a goodbye to Renee and Phil.

I walked down the street and around the corner to see Brad's car. My stomach fluttered in excitement and I walked quicker to his car.

I couldn't wait for the party to begin.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Forks. That was my fate for the summer. Out of my four classes I only failed one. And I only failed it by _one _mark. If I had done _one _mark better, I wouldn't have to go to Forks. I begged and pleaded with Renee when I showed her my report card. My grades had improved a substantial amount, and she looked as though she was actually considering allowing me to stay her, but she and Phil decided otherwise. You see, it wasn't just the fact that I would be away from the monster and Brad for two entire months, that wasn't the bad part surprisingly. The bad part was that my dad was a cop. I wasn't sure if he knew the entire situation, but I had a feeling that he would be more disappointed in me if he actually did know.

And even worse about Charlie being a cop? The fact that if I _did _find someone to score for me, I wouldn't be able to hide it; he would know.

As I packed my suitcase, I pondered what to do. Brad had offered to give me some crank while I left but I turned it down. How would I manage to get it through the airport? And even if I somehow did end up getting it through, I didn't know how I would be able to hide it from Charlie easily. Charlie was trained to sniff that shit out.

I was leaving tomorrow. Brad had offered to have a party tonight, but there was no way I'd be able to make it through the airport with it still in my system or crashing. So, I wouldn't be seeing Brad at all today. But that was okay, we had had a very nice goodbye last night.

The next morning Renee and I drove to the airport. We were both quiet, neither of us wanting to speak. I felt as though I was being shipped off to purgatory, and she felt as if she was doing what she had to do to change her troubled daughter. I knew that whatever she was planning wouldn't work. I doubted two months in Forks would get me to kick my habits. I knew that as soon as I'd come back I'd go right back to how it was before I went there. I was almost positive that she knew that I was lying to her about what was going on-she probably knew exactly what I was doing in my spare time with Brad…or whenever I was out of the house for that matter. A few times I had heard her and Phil talking about me. Phil would try to convince my mom that I was crashing, but she wouldn't believe it. Now I'm sure she had accepted what he was saying and felt that I needed help.

Help that I didn't want. She was trying to sneakily give me the help she didn't want to talk about. She knew that I wouldn't be able to party with Charlie breathing down my neck.

As I boarded the plane after an awkward goodbye to Renee, I thought about what the next two months would be like. They would probably the two most boring months of my life.

As the wheels of the plane touched back down on the ground, I felt as if I didn't belong here, and I hadn't even gotten off the plane yet. I looked out the window, seeing that it was pouring rain-not surprising in Forks. I felt as though I shouldn't be here, and it was probably the fact that I didn't want to be here that I felt as though I didn't belong.

I exited the plane, and my eyes scanned the airport looking for Charlie. I got frustrated, looking everywhere for him. Where the fuck was he? I went down to the luggage carousel and grabbed my suitcase. I wish I had Charlie's phone number, so I could call him and find out where he was. Finally I saw him and went over to him. He looked the same as ever…I guess it was me who had changed, since he didn't recognize me.

"Dad?" I questioned, looking up into his eyes that mirrored my own.

"Bells?" he asked, shock crossing his face. After a quick hug and awkward a bit of awkward conversations, he led me out to his car-of course, he was driving the cruiser…had I expected any less? I doubted Charlie even owned a car other than the cruiser.

We were silent as we drove through the tiny town of Forks. Neither of us really knew what to say to each other.

"So…any boyfriends?" he asked.

"Yup," I said, and didn't elaborate. I was sure he knew I had a boyfriend-one who Mom really didn't approve of. I had to wonder what Charlie knew. Had Renee told him about my habits? Did she even know what my habits were?

Surely, Charlie would have said something. If I was caught with anything illegal here, it would be on his ass as well, he could probably lose his job for it. Or at least lose _a lot _of credibility in this town. If he knew, wouldn't he warn me?

We stopped at a stop light, and I looked out a window. Leaning against a telephone post, smoking a cigarette, and wearing a leather jacket was a guy who must have been the hottest person I had seen. He was super pale, and had bronze coloured hair…I couldn't help but stare at him. Our eyes locked together, and his stare was intense. I couldn't break eye contact with him.

"That's Edward Cullen," Charlie said, his voice snapping me out of my reverie. "His dad is the best doctor in town; never really had much of a problem with them, considering it's a house full of teenagers who live there. His parents couldn't have kids, so they're all their adoptive children."

"Oh," I said quietly. I idly wondered if Edward used. This trip may be interesting after all.

"Do you remember Jacob Black?" Charlie asked.

Something about that name tugged at the back of my memory, but I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"I'm not sure," I said truthfully.

"He lives on the Quileute reservation, a few times when you visited as a kid you and he would play together," he explained.

"Oh…I think I might remember, I'm not sure," I said truthfully. I really wasn't sure whether or not I remembered Jacob.

My mind was elsewhere as we drove through Forks. I wanted to use. I _really, really, really _wanted to use.

The next day I went to the convenience store, in hopes of seeing Edward again. I strolled down the small aisles slowly, savouring every moment of freedom from Charlie's watchful eye. I heard the store door open, but didn't pay any attention to it.

"Really, Edward?" whined a girl's voice. I froze, stomach flipping. "Do you really have to buy it now?"

"Yeah, I need gum," he said; his voice was like velvet. "You can wait in the car, Jess."

She was quiet for a second, and then I heard the store door open and close again. How lucky for me; I was in the gum aisle.

"Hello," he said.

I turned and met his eyes-they were forest green. "Hello."

"I'm Edward Cullen; I noticed you yesterday…is Chief Swan your father?"

"Only part time," I said. "I haven't seen him in years."

"I see," he said, eyes looking over me. "Maybe we could hang out sometime."

The way he said it wasn't a suggestion, and I didn't mind that.

"Isn't that your girlfriend waiting for you?" I questioned.

A small laugh escaped him. "Jess? Nah, she's just…around."

"Around?" I repeated.

He chuckled. "She thinks I don't know that she's sleeping around."

"So you want a bit of revenge for that?" I asked. Holy shit, where had that come from?

He moved a bit closer to me. "Maybe."

"Well, maybe we could party sometime," I said, all thoughts of Brad pushed out of my head.

He moved even closer to me; so close we were almost touching.

"And what kind of partying do you have in mind?" he asked. "Hopefully nothing that would make your father upset with, right?" I could tell he was being sarcastic. He probably knew from the minute he saw me that I tweaked. From the way he was speaking to me, he used as well.

"That's _exactly _the kind of partying I'm talking about," I said.

He smiled this drop-your-panties crooked smile that just about made me jump his bones right then and there.

"When do you want to hook up?" he asked, voice sounding oh-so-sexy.

"As soon as possible," I said.

"What's your number? I'll give you a call," he said.

I gave him my number. I was sure my phone would work here, but just in case it didn't, I warned him that it may not.

He chuckled again. "Even if it doesn't work, I'm sure we'll run into each other."

I smiled. "I'm sure we will."

"Edward! What the fuck is taking you so long?" demanded _Jess's_ voice. I turned to look at her. She was an obvious tweaker…in fact she was probably using Edward just to get speed.

"Nothing, I was just recommending this gum to Bella, here," he said smoothly. Yeah, it was a lame cover-up, but the way he said it made it sound foolproof.

Her eyes moved to me, and she looked me up and down-I could practically see her measuring my stature with her eyes…it was as if she was thinking whether or not she was more attractive than me.

"I'm Jessica," she said, sticking out her hand roughly to shake mine. "Pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise," I said, smiling warmly-too warmly?-at her and shaking her hand. I flicked my eyes up to Edward to see that he obviously found something comical in our little conversation.

"Anyway, I'll see you around, Edward," I said flirtatiously, leaving the store empty handed.

Why did that feel so good? I could tell from the minute Jessica had laid eyes on me, she didn't like me. Why should I pretend to like her?

I walked back to Charlie's house to see another car in the driveway. I furrowed my brow, who the hell else was here? It didn't matter to me, to be quite honest, I was floating right now. I had found my connection here in Forks, and even better, I had made his "girlfriend" mad. Why did that make me feel so much better about the whole situation? The fact that I had gotten under her skin satisfied me…and I didn't really understand why.

I walked into Charlie's house to see that two other guys were there in the living room.

Holy sweet Jesus…there was a guy there, who looked around my age…if I had thought that Edward was hot…Jacob was an inferno. What was in the water here, with all the hot guys walking around?

"Hey, Bells," Charlie said. "This is Jacob and Billy Black."

_That _was Jacob? Holy shit.

"Hey," I said, trying to contain the drool that was sure to slip out of my mouth. "Yeah, I _think _I remember you. Nice to see you again."

"Same to you," he said; his voice slightly husky, and oh-so-sexy.

"Bells, there's some food in the kitchen if you're hungry," Charlie said.

As I walked into the kitchen, I could hear Jacob trailing behind me. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," I said.

I sat down at the table and grabbed a box of Chinese food they had ordered. I offered some to Jacob, but he refused as he had eaten before with Charlie and Billy. I closely examined Jacob's face, trying to decide whether he tweaked or not. Possibly occasionally; maybe I now had another party buddy.

"So, why'd you decide to visit your dad?" he asked.

"I didn't decide to," I said. "I was forced to…but I might not regret coming after meeting you again."

A smile crept onto his face, and he looked me up and down-probably not for the first time.

"Why don't you come down to the res sometime?" he offered. "I'm sure we could find something to do."

A smile crept onto my face. Oh yes, he definitely used.

"Maybe," I said. "Hopefully…I don't think I'll be doing much here."

He chuckled. "I hope I can change that."

Ohmigod! Was Jacob interested in _me_? First Edward, now Jacob?

Suddenly, guilt stabbed me. How had I not thought about Brad through all this? Shit.

"What's wrong?" my expression must have just changed immensely, because Jacob was looking at me oddly.

What to do-lie or tell the truth?

I decided to go for the latter. "It's just that I have a boyfriend."

For a split second I thought I saw disappointment flash through his eyes, but he quickly masked it.

"Well, your boyfriend isn't here, is he?"

As I lay in bed that evening, Jacob's words rung through my head. _Well, your boyfriend isn't here, is he? Your boyfriend isn't here…your boyfriend isn't here_.

And while it was true, did that make me feel any less guilty for being attracted to not one, but two guys upon my arrival here-less than twenty-four hours ago? I _wanted _both of them _so _badly…and I had _just _met them both.

_You've known Jacob for years…you just didn't remember him._

That was true. I _had _known Jacob for years. But that didn't help with the Edward situation. I had just met him and he had a girlfriend…or fuck buddy.

Did I want to be his fuck buddy? Hell to the fucking yes! But I also didn't want to be. I wanted both Jacob and Edward so badly…they were both so…ugh. It was indescribable. I was pulled to them both, and I didn't completely understand why. I had a perfect boyfriend back home…why wasn't I happy?

Well…it _was _my summer vacation, and I didn't plan on wasting it. La Push wasn't too close to Forks-I highly doubted Edward and Jacob even spoke to each other.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, my phone rang. It made me jump, and as I checked the caller ID, I saw that it was an unknown number…an unknown _Forks_ number. _Edward!_

Before answering, I cleared my throat, hoping to clear away all the grogginess of my half sleep from my voice.

"Hello?" I asked into my phone.

"Hello Bella," Edward's velvety voice said on the other end of the phone…and it made my stomach do somersaults. "Are you free tomorrow?"

"I…I should be," I said, truly not sure if Charlie had anything planned for us. I hoped he didn't. If he did, I could just feign an illness; I had lots of experience there.

"How would you like to hang out?" he asked. "Possibly have a little party? Just the two of us."

"I'd love that," I said. "Time?"

"Preferably later in the evening."

"That's perfect," I said. "Give me a call, letting me know."

"For sure," he said. "Goodbye, Bella."

"Bye Edward," I said, clinging to every last second of our conversation.

The line went dead and I lay in bed, staring at my ceiling. I hadn't even been here an entire day, and I would already be partying.

I couldn't wait.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: As you may have seen, Fanfiction posted an update regarding MA content. I do not know if this will affect any of my stories, but if they are taken down, does anybody know a place I would be able to post these stories so that you all could continue reading them? Let me know ASAP. I will continue posting on this site, but just in case the stories do end up getting taken down, I would like to know an alternative. Thank you!**

Chapter 3

Charlie would be at work all day today, and tonight he was going to the Black household. I opted out of going; little did he know I had my own agenda for tonight.

I told him not to worry if I wasn't home when he got here, and not to wait up for me. Surprisingly, he didn't interrogate me about where I would be going. He and Mom were complete opposites in that sense.

My stomach turned in anticipation as I thought about what would happen tonight. Partying with Edward and the monster? Ugh. I couldn't wait.

Edward was going to be picking me up at eight. It was six o'clock now, and I was already ready to go.

For the next two hours, I kept myself busy, to keep my mind off what we were going to do tonight. What _were_ we going to do? My stomach fluttered again. Eight o'clock could not come fast enough.

At seven forty-five my phone rang. When I answered it, it wasn't Edward as I had been hoping, but someone completely unexpected. Jacob.

"Hey Bella," Jacob said, his voice making me want to spend the night with him instead of Edward. God, I was sick.

"Hey Jacob," I said, sitting by my window, watching for Edward's car.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Nothing really, going out soon," I said carefully.

"Oh, really?" he asked. "Well, tonight on the res there's a big bonfire. You should swing by."

This piqued my interest. "Hmm, maybe I will check it out."

"I'll be there for most of the night, just come find me," he said. "They're always lots of fun, and normally go right into the early morning. You could crash at my place afterward; I doubt your dad would mind." There was that word again. Fun.

"I'll let you know," I said.

"See you later, Bella," he said.

"Bye, Jacob," I said.

Not one, but _two _chances to party tonight? I was in luck.

As I hung up the phone, I saw Edward's car pull into my driveway. I grabbed my purse and went downstairs and out the front door. I slid into the passenger seat of his car and he started to drive.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"There's a nice secluded spot I know about," he said. "It's great for having private little parties. I don't even think the cops know about it."

"That's good," I said, excitement fluttering in my stomach. God, I couldn't wait. This was the first time I would be partying without Brad.

Guilt stabbed me. Brad. Edward placed his hand on my thigh, and it aroused me…but Brad was still in the back of my mind.

We got out of his car in a foresty area. His hand was on the small of my back as he led me down the path. I was sure I'd be able to find my way back if anything happened; we were still on the path.

"This is my favourite place," he said. We stepped off the path and went about five feet into the forest.

He produced a small black box and I knew what was inside. I watched as he prepared it. But, he was using a pipe, not a mirror and blade.

"Don't you snort it?" I asked.

"You can't snort this; it's ice," he said. "Much better than regular crank; this takes you even higher."

After we each took a few tokes, I felt amazing. Absolutely fantastic. Edward was right, it was much better to smoke it than to snort it. Once you got over the initial bitter taste, you flew.

Edward moved toward me…and then we were kissing. His hands roamed my body, and I knew where it would lead. All thoughts of Brad were gone from my mind; I could only think about Edward's mouth against mine, and the way our tongues were moving together in what seemed like a perfect dance. My body reacted to his touch, as if it was under Edward's control, and not my own brain's control-not that I wanted this to end anytime soon. Clothes were shed, and soon I was pressed up against a tree, and Edward was inside of me. Oh my god, it felt so amazing. He was right about the ice. It took you higher than anything I had had before. It heightened my senses, making what we were doing feel even better. He filled me and satisfied me more than I had ever been before. He was amazing.

My hands clawed at his back, and I fought against screaming in pleasure. It felt almost animalistic to be doing this out in a forest; and I can't lie-it turned me on even more.

"Scream for me, baby," he whispered in my ear. "I want to hear you."

As if my brain was working more under his words than my own thoughts, I screamed his name in pleasure. I never wanted to stop. I wanted us to stay connected with him forever. Our bodies moved perfectly with one another, and neither of us was slowing down anytime soon. You may think I was moving too quickly with Edward but when you were already attracted to someone, pairing it with meth made that attraction go even higher. I felt myself tighten around Edward, and the waves of my oncoming orgasm came over me. I gripped him tighter. He was sending me over the edge. We came at the same time, and collapsed on the forest floor with one another. Our limbs tangled together, both breathing heavily.

"Bella…that was the best sex I have ever had," he said. "And that isn't the ice talking for me."

I can't say I disagreed with him. Together, we smoked another bowl, and then made out a little more. We fixed our clothing and our hair to the best of our ability-hell I didn't even know how I looked-before he led me back to the car.

"Do you want me to drop you off right at your house?" he asked.

I shook my head, deciding against telling him about my plans to go to La Push. "Just drop me off around the corner, if Charlie's home and asleep, I don't want the headlights to wake him."

Edward kissed me deeply once more before I left the car, and I got out and began to slowly walk down my street. I was wired out of my mind, and felt as though I was floating on cloud nine. I waited until Edward's car was gone, before turning back the other way and making my way down to La Push to party some more. I didn't even care if I was pushing it. All I could think about was partying. It wasn't too far to walk to La Push, and thankfully it wasn't raining.

As I went towards the beach, I could see the bonfire. The licks of flames were shooting up into the sky-it was beautiful. There were odd sparks of teal and gold and purple.

I made my way closer and closer to the beach, eyes searching for Jacob. Finally I saw him, and made a beeline for him. I could tell he had been drinking a little bit, I could smell it on him. And…was that the faint scent of meth on him? Or was that me? He looked me up and down once. Could he tell how wired I was? Or could he see random leaves and twigs in my hair? I had thought I had gotten everything out.

"Hey Bella," he said. "I didn't think you'd make it."

I smiled. "I really wanted to come."

"Looks like you had a little party of your own," he said, winking at me. Oh, so he knew. Strangely, this didn't bother me. I was floating on cloud nine. It had already promised to be a good night, I didn't think anything would change that…and considering how the bonfire looked, it seemed like it was just going to get better.

"Want to party a bit more?" he asked.

"That depends on what you've got," I said. He motioned for me to move closer to him, and he very subtly withdrew a pipe and a little bag of ice from is pocket. So he _had _been smoking meth as well. My nose hadn't betrayed me.

A smile spread across my face. "Sure."

He led me to a secluded spot on the beach, and smoked a bowl together. And then I was flying again. I wasn't sure who had had more to smoke, Jacob or me, and I didn't really care. And then, Jacob's hands were all other me, and I didn't _really _want him to stop, but I knew we couldn't. Fucking two guys in one night? That was a little extreme, and even I knew that in the completely wired out of my mind state that I was in.

"No," I said. "We…we have to stop."

"Why?" he asked. "Still worried about your boyfriend?"

"No…" I said. "Just…not now; not here. We're kind of out in the public, anyone could walk by."

"But doesn't the prospect of getting caught turn you on even more?" he leaned closer to me, his breath a whisper against my collarbone. "Yes, anyone could walk by at any minute, but that's all the more fun for us, isn't it?" I closed my eyes, what Jacob was saying _was _turning me on. He lightly put his hand on my thigh and rubbed it a little bit. His touch was sending fireworks off in my brain and body.

"I can tell you want it," he whispered. "I can see it on your face and by the way you're sitting. I can feel how much you want it, Bella."

Hearing him say my name in that seductive voice of his was driving me crazy. He ever-so-lightly kissed my neck, and trailed his kisses down to my collarbone.

"Don't forget that I'm spending the night at your place," I said softly.

"Mmmmm and we can start up again there," he said, and then captured my earlobe between his teeth, driving my nerves into a frenzy of heat.

I felt raindrops on my head.

"It's starting to rain," I said softly.

"Even better," he said against my neck. "More intense that way."

"Jacob, I just met you again," I said, trying to string coherent words together. It was hard…Jacob's mouth against my skin paired with the ice was a deadly pair. It was hard to concentrate, and I considered just letting him continue. In fact, I almost did let him continue…but then thoughts of Edward entered my mind again. Two guys in one night? That was a bit too extreme.

"Jacob…not now," I said. Maybe if I could convince him to just go back to his place I could figure something out from there. His lips left my skin and he looked up at me through his lashes.

"Would you like to go back to my place?"

I nodded excitedly. "I'd _really _like that."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Somehow Jacob managed to expertly operate his car, even with the amount of meth we had done. _I_ could barely concentrate on the road, how did he manage to drive and operate a car so well? He had his arm placed on my thigh, and it was turning me on. It was as if his touch sent fireworks through my body, and I couldn't think straight.

But I felt weird. I felt like I had done too much tonight. That was silly though. Normally I could do more than what I had done tonight when I was snorting it.

But that begged the question, how much _had _I done tonight? I tried to keep my mind off of it. If I thought about how much I had done tonight, that would just lead to me thinking that Charlie could catch me.

"Won't your dad wonder why…why I'm at your house?" I asked.

"I told him you might crash here tonight. We just have to be quiet, and we'll be fine. I'm on the upper floor, his room is on the main floor," he said.

I hung onto his words for dear life, attempting to completely understand what he was saying. I felt like I had done too much tonight. I didn't exactly remember how much I had done, but I knew it was a lot. I could barely see straight…I could barely talk.

He pulled into his driveway and turned his car off. I didn't want to move. I felt immobilized.

"Jacob…I…I think I d-did too much," I said, blinking rapidly.

"I'll carry you inside," he said. "Don't worry; we don't have to _do_ anything."

"How…how are you so c-composed?" I asked.

"I don't think I did as much as you…how much did you do before coming to the bonfire?" he asked.

"I-I don't know," I said. It was difficult to string together a sentence. I was wired out of my mind; this wasn't the normal high I got from snorting with Brad. This was way more intense…and I had done too much. I was barely aware of my surroundings. For once, I actually wanted to crash.

The thought of crashing terrified me now. Crashing on crank was bad enough; ice must have been millions of times worse than crank when it came to crashing.

"What are you used to doing?" he asked. "Snorting or smoking?"

"Snorting," I said, trying to clear my head. I gripped onto any ounce of reality I had left-which was Jacob's face and what he was saying.

"Then that's why. Smoking gives you more of a high; you think you're not doing enough, then you realize you've done too much," he explained.

"Has this happened to you before?" I asked.

"Once," he said. "I learned from it though." I felt myself being lifted up, but was way too wired out of my mind to really realize what happened. And then, I closed my eyes. It felt so nice to have them closed, that I didn't ever want to open them again. And I didn't open them again for quite a long time.

When I woke up, I was in a bed, very unsure of where I was and what I was doing there. I tried to remember what had happened last night, but it was hard. All I could really remember was that I had done a lot of meth. I pinched the bridge of my nose. I couldn't tell if I was still high or if I had crashed. I could still feel a slight buzz from the meth, so I figured that I hadn't completely crashed yet.

"Good morning," Jacob said. He was in the bed beside me. Why were we in a bed together? My stomach lurched. Had we…? "Or…good afternoon."

"Jacob…we didn't…you know?" I asked seriously.

"No, we didn't," he said. "You were too far gone…I couldn't take advantage of you like that."

"Really?" I asked, surprised. So Jacob was a protector. He thought more about who he was with than himself. "Sorry-I don't mean to sound rude, it's just kind of surprising that there are still guys like you out there."

He chuckled. "We're the good guys."

"You really are a good guy," I said. "Thank you for not taking advantage of me last night."

"Do you remember anything from last night?" he asked. "By the time you got to the bonfire, you were already pretty wired."

Edward. I remembered Edward last night, but something in my head told me not to say anything about Edward. I didn't know why, but I just thought it'd be safer not to mention him at all.

I shook my head. "I'm not entirely sure."

Meanwhile everything that had happened last night was coming back to me. Edward and I smoking the ice together, feeling like I was on top of the world, then Edward and I…moving together in perfect harmony. Edward and I had fucked last night on the forest floor. Then I remembered making my way to the bonfire, smoking a whole lot more with Jacob, and almost having sex with him too.

"I should probably get home," I said. "Charlie's probably wondering where I am."

"I think my dad called him and let him know. And my dad was going fishing with your dad today," Jacob said. "You know…we could continue what almost happened last night." a mischievous smile spread across his face, and I bit my lip, feeling heat spread through my body. It was so tempting, but did I really want to?

Jacob was _so_ sexy. I honestly wanted to jump his bones right then and there. But I could practically smell the meth still in my system, and really wanted to go home and shower. At that moment, a shower was higher on my priority list than fucking Jacob.

"Maybe I'll swing by later," I said. "I should _really _shower before Charlie gets home so I can cover up the smell. The last thing I'd need would be for him to sniff me out."

Jacob chuckled. "Yeah, we wouldn't want your own father throwing you into jail."

"No, that would _not _be good," I said.

"I'll give you a ride home; you walked here last night, right?"

Oh shit, I had forgotten about that.

"That would be really nice, thank you," I said.

He flashed his million dollar smile. "It's nothing, don't worry." Together, walking _very _close to one another, we walked out of his house and into Jake's car. As he drove, he lightly rested his hand on my thigh, and I could feel the heat from that spread through my body.

All too quickly, he pulled into my driveway, but before I could exit his car, he grasped my face in his hands and captured my lips with his. I remembered kissing him last night, but it hadn't been like this. Last night we were both wired out of our minds, so we were both pretty fucking sloppy…but this kiss? It was perfect.

We broke apart and he smiled at me. Oh my god, Jacob was amazing.

"I'll see you around," he said.

I nodded, trying to clear my head, and undid my seatbelt and opened his car door.

"Oh, and Bella?" he said, just before I exited the car.

I turned, question in my eyes.

"Don't hesitate to come visit me again," he said. "Or…if you need a ride, don't hesitate to ask. I want to see you again."

The way he said it, he sounded slightly possessive. I can't say I didn't like it.

I smiled. "I won't…hesitate I mean, give me a call sometime." I exited his car and rushed into the house so I wouldn't get soaked by the rain. I went up to the bedroom and flopped onto my bed, thinking about what had happened last night. I could feel it all catching up to me, but honestly, I didn't really mind the oncoming crash. It put me at ease just to know that I could actually have _fun _in this God forsaken town.

The thought of that got me off my bed and into the shower. Somehow I managed to shower, and didn't end up falling and cracking my head open. Now wouldn't _that _be a sight for Charlie when he came home? I could steal feel the buzz from my high keeping me awake, but the strain of my activities was putting a strain on my body. I didn't _feel _hungry, in fact the last thing I wanted to do was eat, but my stomach rumbled and I knew I would need to eat. After my shower, I went down to the kitchen and ate some cereal. Then, I went back upstairs and crashed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

When I woke up I felt groggy and gross. I rubbed at my eyes, trying to get a sense of the time.

"'Bout time you woke up."

I looked over at my now-open bedroom door to see Charlie standing there in the doorway.

I smiled at him and stretched, trying to avoid speaking to him just yet.

"Rough night?" he asked. "It's two in the afternoon." Holy shit, I had slept that long? That's what crashing will do to you. I idly wondered if there was still ice in my system, if I was still high, but I doubted it.

"I guess so," I said. "Jacob and I hung out, we watched movies together."

"What, no bonfire?" he asked.

Shit. _Of course_ Charlie had known about the bonfire.

"Yeah, we went, but left. Wasn't really my scene, ya know?" _Play it cool_.

He chuckled. "A big party on the beach isn't your scene?"

_Stay calm._ "Nah, especially since I only knew one other person there."

"But you had fun with Jake?" he asked.

"Yeah, we stayed up all night watching movies," I said with a shrug. "That's why I slept so long."

"He's a good kid, Bells," Charlie said.

I chuckled. "I'm pretty sure you've told me that already, but I know he is." _Of course I know how good a kid he is, Daddy Dearest, I experienced it last night when he didn't take advantage of me when I was high as fuck on ice._

"I have to leave for work soon, will you be alright here?"

I nodded. "I'll be fine."

"I'd like for you to stay in tonight, if you don't mind," he said. "I'll be home at around four thirty, I'll definitely be here in time for dinner; I'd like to actually have a meal with you." He said with a small smile hinting at his lips. The minute he said dinner, my stomach grumbled, I hoped he didn't hear it. I just now realized that I was _starving_.

I smiled at him. "For sure."

"Alright, I have to go, see you later Bells."

"Bye Dad," I said, waving. When he was gone from my room, I lay back in my bed, looking up at the ceiling. I waited until I heard Charlie's car pull out of the driveway before flinging the blankets off of myself and going downstairs to the kitchen. I made myself a sandwich, with the little supplies that Charlie had, and thought about what to do today.

Shit! I forgot to take my birth control pill. I ran upstairs and fished the pill jar I had put them in out of my bag. I was used to taking it in the afternoon, because I was used to crashing and waking up in the afternoon. But usually, I took it at one o'clock, not two. I hoped it wouldn't be too late to take it.

I took it and made my way back downstairs to my breakfast-er…lunch, and contemplated what to do today.

Charlie had told me not to go out _tonight_, but that didn't mean I couldn't go out _today_. It was only two-fifteen; maybe I could go see Jacob. That made my stomach flutter. I remembered what he had said to me yesterday. He wanted to see me again. He wanted to continue what we had started the other night.

And I wanted to see him again too. Maybe he could come here; I was the only one here. But, would he want to smoke? If he did, we wouldn't be able to do it here; Charlie would smell it for sure.

I picked up my phone and realized I didn't have Jacob's number. Well, that was alright, Charlie would definitely have it.

I went over to the phone, and saw that Charlie had a little Post-it note with both the Black residence's number and Jacob's cell number. I opted to call his cell first.

It rang three times before he answered.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hi Jacob," I said.

"Hey Bella," I could practically hear the smile in his voice. "What's up?"

"Nothing at all, home alone…and _very_ bored."

"That sounds appealing," he said, voice sounding even sexier. _Help_. "Should I come over?"

"I'd absolutely _love _that."

"I'll be there soon," he said. "I'm guessing Charlie is at work?"

"Yes he is."

"I'll be there in five," he said, hanging up.

My stomach fluttered in excitement. Jacob was coming. I practically ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth and run a brush quickly through my hair. I put a touch of makeup on, as that was all I really had time to do before I heard his car pull into the driveway.

I made my way downstairs and opened the front door just as he had raised his hand to knock. My stomach fluttered in excitement at seeing him and I opened the door wider for him to enter.

He didn't say anything; he just grasped my face in his hands and kissed me. I kissed him back with everything I had in me and he pressed me against a wall in the front hall.

"Are we moving too fast?" I mumbled against his mouth.

"We aren't moving fast enough," he said breathlessly, and kissed my neck. "Where can we go?"

"My room, upstairs," I said immediately, feeling heat spread through my entire body, and down _there_. I needed Jacob, and I had made both of us wait long enough. His touch electrified me, and it just spread my pleasure throughout my entire body. He grabbed my ass and hoisted me up so my legs went around his waist. He carried me up to my bedroom, as I kissed his neck. I never once broke connection with him. He tossed me onto the bed and fell on top of me, supporting his weight with his elbows.

"Are you sure?" he whispered. "I want you Bella-I want you bad…but I want to make sure you're okay with this."

I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him as hard as I could. "Yes, I'm sure."

Within moments we were both fully undressed, and Jacob was inside me. We both groaned at the connection and I held on to him tighter.

"Shit, Bella, I'm not gonna last long," he warned, as he moved inside of me. "I feel like I've been waiting for this with you for years." I moved with him, meeting his every thrust as hard as I could against him, feeling my oncoming orgasm deep in my stomach.

"You aren't the only one," I moaned.

Suddenly he shifted us, so we were both sitting upright, I was straddling his waist. The feel of him inside me from this angle was so different-but a good different. I felt so full with Jacob inside me, the feeling was intense, and the sheer mentality of it was enough to send me over the edge. I felt myself tighten around him, and I gripped his shoulders, crying out his name as I came-hard-all around him.

"Fuck Bella," he groaned. "I'm close."

I rocked harder against him. "Let go."

And with that, he came inside me. We were both breathing heavily, I had my head against his shoulder and he lay down on the bed on his back, so I was lying on top of him.

"I brought some ice," he said softly. "I had expected us to smoke it beforehand, but I couldn't keep me hands off you. This…this felt better than if we were high."

"Imagine if we were high though," I said softly, unable to help myself. The monster was calling to me, deep and seductive. I wanted it. I wanted to experience sex with Jacob while high on the monster. I remembered how good it had felt last night with Edward-I wanted to experience that again, with Jacob.

That isn't to say that today with Jacob hadn't been good-it had been perfect. Today was a first for me. This was the first time I hadn't been high while having sex with someone. It was different, but in a good way. I had enjoyed it more than I thought I would, but I knew that sex with Jacob while I was high-or while we were both high-would completely blow me out of the water, like it had with Edward.

A mischievous look passed through his eyes. "When is Charlie getting home?"

"He said he'd be here around four thirty," I said. Fuck. Charlie. We couldn't smoke in here in case he came home early, or in case the smell didn't leave the house quick enough.

Jacob looked at the clock, biting his lip. How did he manage to make that look so sexy?

"I don't know, Bella, we'd be cutting it kinda close," Jacob said, uncertainly.

"Well…who says we need the ice?" I whispered dangerously.

He met my eyes and I saw desire laced deep within them.

"You're very right," he breathed.

We fucked four more times that day.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I was lying on Jacob's chest, feeling very content and comfortable.

"What time is it?" I mumbled lazily.

"Four-thirty," Jacob said.

I sat upright in bed. "Four-thirty?!"

He nodded, questioning me with his eyes.

"Charlie said he was going to be home at four-thirty! You have to get out of here!" I jumped out of bed and pulled my clothes on, flinging his discarded clothes at him as well.

"Fuck!" he hissed, pulling on his jeans.

I practically ran into the bathroom and ran a brush through my hair. I did _not _want Charlie to know what Jacob and I had been up to today. I looked presentable enough, but I needed to get Jacob out of the house before Charlie got home.

I ushered him downstairs, and he kissed me quickly on the lips.

"I had a lot of fun today, Bella," he said, mischievous look in his eyes.

I oddly felt heat creep to my face. "So did I."

I went to open the front door, but heard Charlie's cruiser pull into the driveway. Shit shit shit!

Jacob stared at me, wide-eyed; I could see nervousness in his eyes. I knew that Charlie really liked Jake; he didn't want to ruin what good reputation he had with Charlie.

"Living room," I said immediately.

We practically ran into the living room and sat beside each other on the couch; I grabbed the TV remote, and turned it on. We pretended to be engrossed in whatever was on as Charlie walked into the house. My stomach was knotted with nerves as Charlie came into the entrance of the living room.

"Jake?" he asked. Our heads both snapped around to face Charlie, pretending that we hadn't even noticed him here.

"Hey Dad!" I said, smiling brightly. "I didn't even hear you come in."

"Neither did I," Jacob said. "How was work?"

"It was good," Charlie said. I couldn't quite place the expression on his face. I don't think he looked suspicious, but it was hard to tell with Charlie. He could mask things well. "Are you staying for dinner, Jake? You're welcome to."

"Oh, I'm not sure," he said. "I should probably get home. Billy's probably expecting me."

"He can come for dinner too!" Charlie said. "I'll go pick him up. Let me just call him to see if he wants to come."

Charlie disappeared from the doorway and Jacob and I were left alone again.

"That was close," I whispered.

"I know," he whispered. "It's okay; I don't think he suspected anything."

Charlie reappeared in the doorway. "Jake, your dad's gonna be coming, do you want to go get him, or should I go?"

Jacob shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me, Charlie, whichever's easier."

"I'll go get him," he said. "I'll pick up something for dinner on the way back."

"Okay, see you soon, Dad," I said.

He waved to us and left the house. I slumped against the cushions of the couch in relief. Charlie hadn't suspected a thing.

"We're good," Jake said; I could hear the relief clear in his voice. "I don't even want to imagine what he'd do if he-"

I cut him off. "Don't finish that sentence. We have to be good; I'm not risking getting caught again."

He held his hands up. "I'm perfectly fine with that. I want to stay in your dad's good books."

Not long after that, Charlie came back home with Billy. They had picked up Chinese food for dinner, and we all gathered in the kitchen to eat it. Charlie and Billy joked while Jacob and I would throw our two cents in once in a while. I felt tense, and I could tell Jake did as well. Both Charlie and Billy were completely at ease, while Jake and I were quiet, we'd really only talk when directly spoken to. I felt awkward, and I could tell Jake did too. After our afternoon together, it was weird having to sit here between our dads.

I don't think Charlie or Billy knew that anything was wrong, they both seemed completely fine. After we were finished eating, Charlie and Billy retired to the living room to watch some sports game. Relief washed over me. We had survived dinner. Jacob was watching me closely.

"What?" I asked.

"You were really worried there, weren't you?" he asked.

I scoffed at him. "Weren't you?"

"Obviously I was," he said. "But you've built up with wall…this attitude like you don't give a shit about what anyone says or thinks, but then this happened."

"He's my dad," I hissed. "You'd be nervous too."

"I_ was_ nervous," he said. "It was just nice to get to see the real you; that's all."

"The _real me_?" I repeated.

"The other night, that wasn't really you-we both know that," he said. "You were completely normal today, without anything. We didn't take anything today, and look-you were fine."

I didn't look at him. "Ice makes me better."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

"No, it doesn't," he argued. "The other night…you actually scared me. You were so out of it, I didn't know if you'd make it, that shit fucks you up-bad. Not just you, everyone. I shouldn't have done as much as I did that night, I don't even want to know how much you did. I know you wanted to use today, I could see it in your eyes."

"I want to experience it with you," I whispered, moving to the chair right beside him. "Come on Jacob, why not? We could tell them we're just going for a walk."

"I'm not driving my dad home while I'm high, Bella," he said sternly. "I shouldn't have driven you to my place the other night with the state I was in."

"My dad can take him home," I said.

"Not tonight," he said.

"Another night?" I asked hopefully.

"Can you come by tomorrow?"

"Probably."

"Then come over tomorrow-or I'll come pick you up, whatever," he said. "Not tonight though."

"You promise?" I asked quietly.

"I promise," he said with a mischievous look in his eyes.

That night after Jacob and Billy had left; I was up in my room, lying in bed. I couldn't sleep. I was too excited for tomorrow. I couldn't get my mind off of Jacob. It wasn't too late, but the awkwardness between Charlie and I was too much to handle, so I had come upstairs to just chill on my bed. Memories of today on this bed flooded into me. The feeling of Jake's body against mine, the feeling of him deep inside of me…the mere memory of it was enough to make me all hot and bothered all over again.

I couldn't wait to see him again.

Words cannot describe the excitement that I felt as the minutes ticked by. Waiting to see him again was driving me absolutely insane.

That night, when I finally fell asleep, I dreamt that we were together again, and we were high, and we were moving together in perfect harmony, and it felt amazing. This time, we were at his house. Thankfully his dad wasn't home, because we weren't exactly being quiet. It was perfect.

I woke up flustered, and even more excited to meet him today.


End file.
